Respect, on Paper — and in Practice

 “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it”.  

Nelson Mandela.

The university Staff Code of Conduct defines Respect with clarity and specificity. It is not presented as a sentiment or aspiration, but as a set of behaviours that should be observable in everyday conduct.

According to the Code, respect is grounded in justice, equity, and the dignity of all human beings, and in creating an inclusive place of work and learning.

I am sharing this because I have spent years trying to reconcile that definition with my own experience.

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What the Code Says Respect Is

The Code defines respect as:

• valuing yourself and others with high regard for individuality, diversity, and academic freedom

• being inclusive and treating people with courtesy and sensitivity

• showing consideration for the workplace and the property of others  

These are practical standards. They describe how people are meant to be treated — especially in moments of difficulty, disagreement, or vulnerability.

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How I Experienced the Gap

My experience was not one of feeling valued, included, or treated with courtesy and sensitivity.

Instead, over time, I experienced prolonged silence, isolation, and the absence of collaborative engagement at moments when respectful communication mattered most. I repeatedly sought clarity, dialogue, and support through formal channels. Those requests were documented and made in good faith.

What I encountered instead felt like disengagement rather than inclusion, and avoidance rather than resolution.

I share this not to make accusations, but to describe the impact of what it feels like when the behaviours described in the Code are not present.

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Respect and Psychological Safety

The Code commits staff to behaving and communicating in ways that do not intimidate, offend, degrade, humiliate, harass, or bully, and to taking reasonable care for the health and safety of others.

When communication stops, when questions go unanswered, and when a person is left navigating complex processes alone, the absence of respect can become a source of distress in itself.

Respect is not only about what is said.

It is also about whether someone is heard.

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Respect Is Tested When It Is Hard

The Code calls for respectful, cooperative, and collaborative approaches to working relationships, including taking reasonable steps to resolve issues fairly and in a timely way.

For me, respect would have looked like:

• timely responses

• clear explanations

• genuine engagement

• acknowledgement of concerns

• shared problem-solving rather than withdrawal

These are not extraordinary requests. They are consistent with what the Code itself describes as expected behaviour.

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Why I Am Sharing This

I am not writing this to damage reputations or assign blame.

I am writing because documents like Codes of Conduct matter only if they are lived.

The distance between what is written and what is experienced has real human consequences. I know this because I lived it.

Respect, as defined by the Code, is not abstract. It is something a person feels — or does not feel — through daily interactions, decisions, and silences.

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Closing Reflection

The University Staff Code of Conduct describes respect as dignity in action.

My hope in sharing this is simple:

that the standards written are treated not as words to be cited, but as commitments to be honoured — especially when it would be easier not to.

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This has been raised repeatedly through formal channels. I am sharing this because those processes have not prevented further harm.

Content note (for readers):

This post reflects on experiences of prolonged workplace distress, including isolation and the impact of silence within organisational processes. It does not describe graphic events, but it may resonate with readers who have experienced psychological harm, workplace conflict, or institutional disengagement. Please read at your own pace and take care of yourself.

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Further reading

Suskind, D,. (2023, 22 September). ‘Workplace Bullying as a Form of Institutional Betrayal.’ Psychology Today. [Blog]: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/bully-wise/202309/workplace-bullying-as-a-form-of-institutional-betrayal