My personal story - Part 7 - St. Mary’s Star of the Sea

“I want to be the best version of myself for anyone who is going to someday walk into my life and need someone to love them beyond reason”.

Jennifer Elisabeth

Virtus Scientiae Corona - The Virtue of Knowledge is the Crown

My first four years in high school were good years. I went to St. Mary’s Star of the Sea, the Catholic high school in my suburb. 

I have good memories of those years. I’m still in contact with friends going back to our high school days, some even going back to primary school. Many have become kind, strong, caring women. Socially just women. 

One of my fondest memories was of Bishop David Cremin, who resided in the Presbytery of St. Michael’s church next to the school.

I remember the morning greeting ritual. As my friends and I arrived at school, we’d sit in the schoolyard and chat. Bishop Cremin would ride his bicycle through the schoolyard and stop to greet us, with his down-to-earth Irish humour. He was the coolest bishop I’d ever met. He was kind, funny, and compassionate. 

Fast forward, years later to 2009, at St. Mary’s Cathedral, for a Graduation Mass. I was graduating, along with my brother. I was being awarded the Graduate Certificate in Higher Education and my brother, the Master of Religious Education, both from the Australian Catholic University. 

I was so happy to see that Bishop Cremin, my dear bishop from those high school days, was presiding at our Graduation Mass. 

He had the same Irish humour, same down-to-earth nature that I remembered from my teenage years in high school. He still called the Bishop’s mitre, his “party hat”. “Just let me put on my party hat.” I smiled. Yes, that’s Bishop Cremin. 

And then he started his homily with this, “Someone once told me that a homily must have a good beginning, a good ending, and the two must come together quite quickly.” 

He hadn’t changed a bit. There’s nothing more comforting than an approachable bishop. Someone who cares about the flock. A bishop who cares about his flock’s suffering, their adversities, their sorrows, their despair, their fears, their joys, their families, their hearts, their souls. And that’s how it should be. That’s how it was intended to be from the foundation of Christianity. 

I had amazing teachers, like my history teacher, Ms. Thompson. We had an amazing principal who epitomised for me what authentic leadership was truly about. Ms. Hudson was down-to-earth, kind, fair and inspired us to be true to our values. She was supportive of girls who spoke up against social injustice. Ms. Hudson modelled what women in leadership was meant to look like. And like many authentic and socially just leaders, she ultimately suffered for it too, as would some of us I know about, myself included, decades later. 

If you demonstrate authentic leadership, the biggest risk you’re taking is to be silenced, cast out, defamed, shamed, slandered, mobbed and discredited. But would any of us choose to conform to unethical conduct, or compromise our values in caring for the dignity of the human person and common good? If we did this, we wouldn’t be authentic leaders. 

The most difficult thing I tackled in life were narcissists. I’ve already written a post describing some of this harm - see http://mystory-myvoice.blogspot.com/2025/06/my-personal-story-part-6-early.html. 

At this time in my life, growing up, to escape such toxic behaviour, I loved reading and stories, music, dance and animals. I loved to learn and to write. I was very focused on my schoolwork. All this was my escape. I kept away from gossips and toxic people (as best as I could, given I was only a child and couldn’t always escape from it), I helped those I could and spread kindness where it was welcomed. 

I found it amusing when one of my high school teachers told me the school staff nicknamed me St. Vicki of Bourbous. There could be worse ways to be remembered. I’ve written another post about how my parents raised me, to respect and be obedient to my teachers. They also taught me to value education. These virtues, along with my nature of being reliable, conscientious, my love of reading and writing, supportive of others and not someone the teachers had to worry about, both academically and behaviourally, I can see how I earned that nickname - see http://mystory-myvoice.blogspot.com/2025/01/my-personal-story-part-1.html.

At our year 10 graduation awards night, Ms. Hudson surprised me with something I never expected. She had a special award presented to me that night she called the Principal’s award. I remember Ms. Hudson saying all these nice things but not who it was about until the end of her speech. I was honoured when she revealed it was me. I’m moved to this very day by her kindness and really seeing us for who we were. I wasn’t going out of my way to be someone I’m not. I was just being me. 

My friends still with me know this. At the time, it was difficult to believe all the beautiful things Ms. Hudson said, because many times, I was hearing the exact opposite in my personal life from toxic narcissistic people. As a teenager, it’s easy to believe the lies. You don’t have the life experience, the maturity and wisdom, not to. 

How people perceived me was not how I perceived myself. Only now, in hindsight, do I realise how damaging it was to be surrounded by toxic “relatives” growing up. It blinded me from seeing who I was. It blinded me from seeing my true potential.

Ms. Hudson’s acknowledgement reminded me that it’s your actions that show who you are. Not words without substance. And when words are used, it’s a choice to use words for kindness, respect, inspiration and empathy or to use words for vexatious or malicious purposes. It’s always a choice. 

It was only a few years ago that I learned from a friend since those high school years, that Ms. Hudson passed away from breast cancer. I felt immense sadness. In Ms. Hudson’s memory and legacy of authentic leadership, I hope that I have become someone she’d be proud of today, as she was in her speech and award presentation that night at year 10 graduation. 

I haven’t included photos in this post because they’re all at my mum’s, my family home. I haven’t been to my family home in over a year, because of something that was caused by our elected state representative for Kogarah, Chris Minns. That’s the professional part of my story that I’m writing about, and the greater fight to end social injustice and hypocrisy. 

It pains me, however, that my dear mother had to watch her daughter be harmed and betrayed by our elected member of NSW parliament. Sometimes even when I want to get away from narcissism and, more broadly, dark triad personalities of narcissists, Machiavellians and psychopaths, I can’t - especially if there is power imbalance and suspected political interference involved. 

I just want such politicians to get out of my way, out of my life, and, let’s face it, out of the Kogarah electorate community, my community. The problem with dark triad personality types is that they believe themselves to be above the law and they have no boundaries.

I know my mother is praying for me, and for this evil encounter of structural violence, to finally go away and leave me alone. 

Let’s be real. It’s another example of misogyny, another example of many men’s poor behaviour towards women. This is something that has been normalised in our society, and it must stop. 

Perhaps, in a later post, I’ll share some photos and memories from my high school years - once the systemic, structural and gender-based violence finally stops, along with the crime of self-insured employer fraud, as immoral and illegal adverse action. It is wage theft to the extreme. 

Today is the Feast Day of the Dormition / Assumption of our Blessed Holy Mother in Heaven.

St. Mary, Star of the Sea, pray for us.