When we are born

When we are born, we are all vulnerable and dependent on others to take care of us and give us what every human being needs. I’m sure each person can make a list and if we compare lists, it’ll have the same  items. Sadly many innocent lives don’t have those human basic needs provided, whether because of parental neglect, or tragic circumstances, or some form of serious conflict. I won’t go into the traumatic examples many people find themselves in, from the moment they are born. They are important stories for those individuals to share.

That was not my experience. I was born into a loving family. My parents migrated from Greece in the 1960s. Family values were an important component of Greek culture. My parents were loving, nurturing and supportive. They worked hard, not only in contributing to a great Australian society, but to raise their children, to provide, giving them the opportunities they didn’t have. They valued education. I never went without my school supplies, books, nourishing food, clean clothes and an abundance of love. My parents earned modest wages. They were good at budgeting. I had values instilled in me to be conscientious at school, to value learning, and to be kind and respectful to others. 

I was given the wisdom I still hold true in my heart today: no matter what I achieve, what titles or credentials or post-nominals I may acquire, what professional title and position of leadership, first I am a human being. Then the rest. In other words, first I treat every human person I meet, with dignity, respect and kindness. None of these human values require a qualification. 

I haven’t changed, but sadly, society and what it generally values, and how people treat each other, has changed. While there’s a lot of talk and campaigns and government policies and publications on respect, dignity and human rights, generally, the reality and truth that I observe, what I experienced and what I’ve also read and seen from the experiences of many others in society, it is the sad and extreme opposite. To use the cliche that actions speak louder than words, those trying to take action for a better and kinder society, a more respectful, safe and understanding society, they are constantly at risk of being silenced, or worse, even threatened in some way. 

I’m not saying we all have to agree, but a dialogue, a debate, a discussion requires respectfully disagreeing and stating why. Respectfully. I have witnessed and experienced too much immediate attack, blame, deflection, retaliation and silencing, including literally “blocking”. 

Sadly, some of our own politicians are modeling this very behaviour, on public record, and doing it to those who are responsible citizens, who voted them in. This hinders democracy, but I also consider it an abuse of power, a lack of courage. Profit over people modeled by the very governance of a country or state. The tactic of DARVO is used more and more, the concept of toxic masculinity is growing, more and more men abusing and disrespecting women, and using cowardly tactics to silence them, or assert some kind of covert power over them. Some of these men don’t even realise they are doing this, causing serious harm to women, like they are a disposable commodity, a play thing, rather than someone who nurtures, cares and can bring forth life. They are the men that will say, “Not all men physically or sexually abuse women.” But abuse is more than what the law itself, defines as abuse. And even the criminal offences, we have seen it’s failed so many women. How many women still feel helpless, vulnerable, unsafe, also abused financially and psychologically? And the children they are also trying to protect and keep safe. 

I feel our government and its attempt at policies and funding to rectify this systemic issue, comes across as patronising, condescending and degrading women even more, rather than being empowering and respectful. Do these women have a voice in what they need, their dreams and goals for their lives? 

I have experienced the harm misogynistic politicians can cause to women, that renders them vulnerable. Is their form of exploitation and systemic abuse, their refusal to even truly respectfully listen, not the equivalent to gender-based domestic violence? Is this not an example of toxic masculinity? 

This is not how I was raised to treat people. I was also not raised to be treated like this by others, no matter who they are. 

We are all born vulnerable with the same needs. Everyone has the same right to dignity of the human person.