“Gaslighting is an attempt to change the truth.”
Tracy Malone.
What I’m about to share, over too many months, is traumatic. In attempt to be kind to myself as I write what happened, bit by bit, I’m going to use the detailed chronology of events I’ve already written. It’s aligned to the volume of evidence and records I’ve compiled. No one took me seriously. No regulator, local electorate MP and any relevant ministerial office, the NTEU, HSRs, discrimination and harassment advisors, law enforcement agencies and legal professionals, took me seriously. No one bothered to view the volume of evidence either. What I’m going to share is shocking, but not surprising. It was one woman against incompetent leaders at best, a network of unethical power abusers at worst. And it’s all documented. Around 700 documents.
After I was fobbed off to a HR “relationships manager” by that newly appointed associate director, I started compiling the records that tells the story. I knew what was coming because of the associate director’s incompetence to directly resolve this serious bullying, discrimination and harassment issue, as per policies and procedures. Everything will be understood as I tell my story.
All of what I write regarding gross negligence in the workplace, is aligned to the compilation of documents that are numbered. For example, the previous post titled Organisational Culture: the Cons, Part 1 and the 5 parts of the detailed bullying, discrimination and harassment complaint, that was completely ignored and dismissed by the associate director (who features in this post) and then HR (who she fobbed me off to) and shockingly, the WHS unit (who became intentionally reckless to cause harm), came from documents 1, 2 and 17.
This post covers documents 3-7, consisting of medical reports and email communication, still from within my work email account. It’s all there with my professional email signature, as the professional I have been for years, from date of employment in August 2001. I still tried to be, under these abusive conditions, as senior library coordinator, from January 2017. It was impossible and unsustainable. It was a serious lack of duty of care and breach of several policies, including WHS, Work-life Balance, and of course, bullying, discrimination and harassment and the injury management policy.
It’s a huge WHS risk, and organisations must start being held accountable by SafeWork NSW, to comply and legitimately manage the risk, as their legal obligation requires. Not like what happened to me, and my family, which is a breach of S.31 of the WHS Act 2011 (NSW). But no one in public office, took me seriously. There are plenty of posts to come regarding our state and nation’s failed “public services” that our tax pays for.
Where’s the Return on Investment in our workplace rights and safety, despite regulators, commissions, legislation, etc?
In early 2019, after a couple of years of a narcissist’s bullying and gaslighting (and a hypertension diagnosis caused by all this shit), the manager goes even further in her gaslighting behaviour. Through the associate director, she requests a medical report from my GP. WTF!
However, the manager wasn’t happy with the report from my GP because, to use her words, “It sounds a lot like you.” Is this where I say, deeeerrrrrr? It was about me! What exactly was this irrational, gaslighting, harassing, suffocating, violating narcissist looking for? (Yes, I’m angry, but it’s the systemic abuse and trauma I was forced to experience these last several years, caused initially by this person). So she went further in her intrusion and violation by requesting a report from the psychologist I started seeing for grief and trauma, seven years after my dad’s suicide. Remember my reaction to the Greek Orthodox Church insults and releasing suppressed grief and trauma from all this, and then HER TEXT, “I can see you’re in a dark place right now,” which I yelled aloud, “Oh fuck off!”? I really did want her to fuck off and mind her own business. That report was even more in my favour. I needed support, clarity and the resources to do my job. I also needed boundaries regarding the manager’s behaviour.
The reader might ask, why didn’t I say no to this? It’s easy now, especially by those who haven’t been through this covert bullying, to say to someone like me, “you should’ve said no”. Apart from cognitive overload, exhaustion, depletion, which made it really difficult to think and ask such a good question, I wonder what would have happened if I did say no?
The answer lay in the newly appointed associate director. I may have said, “you’re my problem”, to the manager that Tuesday morning on 2 July, 2019, at 7:30am, but the bigger problem turned out to be the new associate director of client services. I have three words to describe this person: incompetent, incapable and unfit to be an associate director.
Later in April / May 2019, when I was on secondment at North Sydney, I finally asked the associate director what exactly was she looking for, such a violation of my privacy? The way she responded made me stare at her, aghast, that this was the best the organisation could find, for an executive role. “I just wanted to know that you are fit to do the inherent duties of your role and now I know you can.”
Readers of my blog, I’ve been doing the inherent duties of my job, since 2001! For the same narcissistic manager! What made this new recruit think I couldn’t? Perhaps the fact that she planted herself in my manager’s office every second Monday, all day, listening to malicious rumours and gossip, about all of the staff at this campus library and beyond? And she was so foolish to believe all this? I was getting more pissed off in such serious psychosocial hazards, by the day. On the one hand, the manager depended on my excellent service and work ethic for twenty years, yet constantly violated my personal boundaries and privacy, ultimately trying to find evidence of a disability that does not exist. It was she who required advice for help regarding irrational behaviour and thoughts. But I finally couldn’t tolerate the bullying, discrimination and harassment anymore.
As for the associate director, it is she who proved unfit to do the inherent duties of her job. Those on the interview panel, having seriously selected this individual as the “best” candidate, were unfit at the inherent duties of their jobs. Or more likely, she was the perfect fit for becoming a puppet to HR, a “yes” executive leader to unethical conduct. Had she resolved the issue locally, based on the existing policies and procedures, given the salary scale she was on, I and my family would never have been subjected to psychological abuse beyond anything I expected. For me, this associate director is the greatest cause for the severe abuse I’m still going through. But so many quality staff, good staff, have paid a huge price because of such “unfit” people in executive and senior executive roles in this organisation. I know what I’m writing resonates with too many people.
Those medical reports backfired, also regarding the offenders in HR, who became desperate to succeed in their diabolical and criminal adverse action.
On 2 July 2019, at 2:45am in the morning, I emailed that associate director. I wrote, “In one phrase, I feel emotionally unsafe in my own workplace. I can no longer work under those conditions.”
Later that July morning, when I finally snapped back in tears at the manager with, “you’re my problem,” completely burnt out and psychologically abused for years, I wrote another email to the associate director. I quote: “I’m taking sick leave. I’m very distressed and I can’t tolerate this anymore…I've tried to reason as diplomatically as I could in the past. I'm supposed to take it from everyone and never speak up. How much emotional bullying do I have to tolerate? Is it fair that I have to continuously be silenced and take it? Have I not worked hard? Why do you think HOS of both Education & Theology ask where I’ve been and if I’m ok to other staff? Is the fact that they trust and respect me more than my very own colleagues, my fault?.. I’m very distressed and I feel psychologically manipulated and bullied. My face is red and swollen from tears. Please take this seriously…I won’t be treated like that again.”
This was on the 2 July 2019. I had no idea of what kind of systemic abuse was yet to come.
On 3 July 2019 I had a reply from a still respectful and civil associate director, “Please take care of yourself and take the time you need to sort through this. (I just did a quick check of your leave balances and you have plenty of leave that you can use.)…If I do not get a chance to talk to you this afternoon, take care of yourself and I want to let you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. We will talk again when I am back from leave.”
My reply, “I need to share with you my feelings that have led to the trauma I now feel with work and why I said I feel "emotionally unsafe". The campus minister, luckily, has listened to me share my story these last few years. She’s been a support. My story helped her when D. took his life and … the importance of support for the family. But beyond this, she knows my strength, my pain, and what is truly important for every human person. To be heard…
At work I feel under “attack” all the time…I’ve had to put up with so much. Why is that ok?…The more I'm pushed with everything, the less I can function in my work…I burnt out by the time I got on a plane to Italy in June 2017. I was on the other side of the world and still having disturbing nightmares about work that I still couldn't sleep… I do appreciate and value you listening and understanding what I'm going through and what I need, which I think is reasonable. I want to feel safe at work, respected and valued. Only then can I do that for my team in my role.
Enjoy your holiday. Goodness knows, in this life, we all need time out to reflect on what's truly important. And shooshing someone (not quite true, but I'll go with that) so I can do my work, is so ridiculous in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention I've had to listen to all things I've done wrong, over and over (NOTE: deflection tactic of a narcissistic personality). You witnessed it yourself…This is two weeks into my new role that I kept being told: you knew what you signed up for. I signed up for what I read in the Position Description. Not this.”
That day at North Sydney, I had email correspondence from an Educational Doctorate student, informing me the examiners passed his thesis without any amendments and he wanted to thank me for my support. A good man, a valuable asset to the Education sector. There was also an email from an Education academic, that reminded me how much I was respected by my clients. At the same time, I was in tears, trying to be discreet in my feelings, at how I was being treated by the very managers and executives of the library directorate, as they reaped the benefits from my work, and getting paid at a higher salary scale - even though they were unfit to do the inherent duties of their jobs as leaders in an organisation committed to the dignity of the human person in its mission, also included in the staff code of conduct.
On 6 August 2019, the day after that shocking meeting with the associate director and her degrading pre-planned solution, I sent another email: “Given I’m someone who needs to be given time to process information, I thought about this whole set up carefully last night. For the sake of my dignity, I have decided I would rather take annual leave than be here feeling even more demeaned and unhappy. I’ll only be at work for the meetings with [relationships manager] from HR, or anything that will move us forward to a fair and sustainable resolution for me now too. I’ve cooperated with everything that was asked of me to this point, but now I need to do what feels right in my heart. Thanks for understanding.”
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Relevant legislation:
Anti-Discrimination Act 1977 (NSW)
https://legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/html/inforce/current/act-1977-048#sec.49A
Work Health and Safety Act 2011 (NSW)
https://legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/html/inforce/current/act-2011-010#sec.19
https://legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/html/inforce/current/act-2011-010#sec.28
https://legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/html/inforce/current/act-2011-010#sec.29
https://legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/html/inforce/current/act-2011-010#pt.6
Work Health and Safety Regulation 2017 (NSW)
https://legislation.nsw.gov.au/view/html/inforce/current/sl-2017-0404#ch.3-pt.3.2-div.11
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