Part 3 - Bullying, discrimination and harassment - the initial complaint

I continue the initial trauma of emotional abuse in the workplace:

17. After one year into this new restructure, poorly managed and implemented, I met with the manager. During this meeting, I attempted to express my concerns, including the accusation regarding my friend and our colleague, and the PRP process. 

I also told her (to my regret) that I was suffering from suppressed grief and trauma, which was compounded by the difficult workplace situation. However, after I had raised my first concern, the manager replied “we talked about this”, making this statement repeatedly, while I attempted to express my concerns. She became defensive, cut me off and deflected the issue raised, in unjustified and irrelevant criticism towards me. It was soul destroying.

It is this repeated pattern of behaviour that makes it impossible to communicate with such personalities. It was not only that this manager became defensive, I was now accused and labeled as “self-absorbed”. I think it’s time my colleagues learn the truth and provide their own thoughts on that (with one exception, given I wasn’t just bullied down, I was bullied up too). Refer to the previous posts, and ones to come, about the goal post constantly being moved, the amount of work I tried to manage, while being suffocated, micromanaged and my own authority constantly undermined in my attempts to lead, manage and support my team. 

Read the post http://mystory-myvoice.blogspot.com/2024/07/organisational-culture-ethics.html regarding the response when I finally snapped and said “you’re my problem”, one mid-winter morning, because my health had taken a nose dive. No matter how reasonable and diplomatic one tries to be with such personality types, it’s impossible to reason and communicate with them. A person finds themselves constantly hyper vigilant and walking on eggshells. It was too much, especially the intrusion when trying to take care of my own health and that intrusion also being extended to my family. I had the same entitlements to take care of my health and wellbeing (as per WHS and work-life balance policies) and sometimes, be there for my family. They were my priorities first and foremost, if that’s what was meant by the traumatic label of “self-absorbed”. At that time, I had no idea where this came from. But given the malicious gossip, fake news being circulated, where I have already mentioned examples in the two previous parts on bullying, discrimination and harassment, then I could only speculate it had something to do with that, at this time. 

http://mystory-myvoice.blogspot.com/2024/07/bullying-discrimination-and-harassment.html

http://mystory-myvoice.blogspot.com/2024/07/part-2-bullying-discrimination-and.html

I tried, in this meeting, in January 2018, to resolve those misunderstandings. I wasn’t given the air time to communicate the truth. 

I left this meeting feeling extremely upset and distressed. I had a list of points that I wanted to raise as I reflected on the first year of the restructure. I remember we sat in the shadeola outside the library. Needless to say, I gave up, tore the paper later that day, and hoped 2018 would be better, it's possibly just restructure teething issues.

Things didn’t get better. They got worse, and worse, and finally progressed into a creepy psychological thriller. That piece of paper I tore up is now document 17 in my records (of over 600 records).

I will now share, in this post, what I tried to respectfully convey, that day. IMPOSSIBLE.

This was my attempt to discuss the following concerns with the manager, upon reflection of the first year of the restructure. As soon as I started to address these, I was cut off with “Vicki, we’ve talked about this.” No, she talked. I was never given an opportunity to respond. I was cut off every time. All I wanted to do in meetings was escape from inappropriate comments that were insulting, hurtful and irrelevant. Comments  made that violated my privacy (and others in my team). It was unethical. 

Regardless, only a few minutes into trying to raise these issues, I gave up. It turned into the same stressful meeting that would have me in tears. Something I expressed alone, later. In isolation. The issues I tried to raise and resolve: 

• I kept repeatedly being told, “You knew what you signed up for.” Incorrect. How was that possible when even library executives were debating the new role, because of differing views of what the role entailed? It was vague, without clear expectations and no guidance. I didn’t sign up to compromise my values and what I felt in myself was the right and wrong approach to a situation.

• I tried to raise the issue of the ethical dilemma I was put in regarding a team member’s personal health. I didn’t know the details (nor was it my place to interrogate - a distressing moral crisis for me to be bullied to do this). I felt coerced to come down hard on a staff member because she didn’t organise to have surgery in her break rather than when the doctor scheduled it. This brought back my own trauma of what the manager did the morning after the worst night of my life. My dad’s suicide. That happened in the month of February too, prior to semester one, more on that personal shock in another post (it was all about the repeated phrase she would approach whichever staff was vulnerable, or their family members, for that matter - the “obligation to the university” and personal crises or traumas we had to manage “affected our work”). I repeat from my premise: Narcissism and indifference. It was also NOT my business to know what staff do with their income, if they have private health insurance, etc. I was horrified! I couldn’t work out what was expected of me, but I was NOT going against duty of care.

• People must learn to respect that everyone’s grief and trauma is different and healing happens in different ways for individuals. I will tell my own personal story in later posts. What some of us, in this directorate, experienced, at times of personal tragedy and sudden loss, was immoral and inhumane. It was definitely against the organisation’s mission and values.

My health began to suffer from the stress and pressure. No matter what I tried to say, there was a counter-argument.

• By May 2017, only five months into this restructure, I was seriously burning out, putting my health and wellness aside to meet all the demands, expectations and obligations of the university (according to this manager). All the urgent emails, liaising and meetings, performance reviews and process for these for the first time and on top of it all, researchers’ impact reports with a steep learning curve there too, trying to meet my responsibilities, the phone constantly ringing from this manager, the vague expectations and not left alone, with a realistic and clearly identified workload, to do my job. I did my best and that was all I could do.

I wasn’t even thinking about my holiday to Italy, and didn’t pack until 5am the day I left. 

• In July, a month or so after my return, the SL, who bullied up, had a go at me because of the number of edits on her performance review. That she also had a go at me regarding someone else’s review, comparing it to her own, was even more shocking. How did she know about someone else’s confidential review? (I wanted to ask the manager in this meeting, but I never got passed the first couple of points, which were not addressed either. The defensiveness and deflection went into full swing. As I said, it is impossible and you leave such meetings worse in your health, with no respectful resolution). 

I was waiting for the SL to finish (having a go at me, that is). There were important reasons for the revisions. They were necessary edits. Given this added to an already stressful and heavy workload I had, and with the constant unwillingness from the SL to listen and cooperate, I honestly didn’t want to be spending so much time with this either. I had enough to do, and could have done without multiple revisions to turn, what I’ll plainly confess was a dog’s breakfast, into something that was professional. I tried to help her highlight her achievements. Again, impossible and very disrespectful, with a complete lack of gratitude. The workload created here, that took so much of my time, along with the unmanageable behaviour, was a big factor that took a toll on my health. I was doing so much work for this SL’s benefit and I was being attacked for it. 

I was being bullied to give credit where credit had not been earned. But when this individual said “all you cared about was your trip”, I had to end our meeting, go somewhere on my own, to burst into tears. I made a spontaneous decision one day in February of 2017, after another day of constant bullying and abuse, to book airfares from Sydney to Florence. I’m not a spontaneous person. This was not me. I’m a planner. But please, dear readers. Go back and re-read point 12 in Part One of this series of posts. Remind yourselves of what I was going through internally, that I couldn’t escape from, despite physically running away to the other side of the world. Running away from constant abuse and humiliation that I was experiencing in my life in Sydney. And this was only the beginning. 

That remark was uncalled for, and really upsetting. I shouldn’t have to justify myself, but here I go, why, on top of the other insults, this was bad. It was seven years before this “trip” (that was all I apparently cared about), I had gone to Spain. That trip was overshadowed by my father taking his life three days after I got home. Furthermore, it was no one’s business what I do with my annual leave. I had never said anything about this individual’s overseas holidays every year - that was her right. They were her accrued leave entitlements. It was greater than a double standard. It was bullying, discrimination and harassment. 

Read my premise and first blog post again, to understand this disease called indifference coupled with narcissism. Where is human kindness, respect, dignity and just plainly treating others how you want to be treated?  

• There was no hope of ever reaching my last point, to discuss the malicious gossip directed at me about my friend and colleague working in another unit. Gossip and malicious rumours are destructive and soul destroying. Accusations based on unproven gossip has made me distrusting and protective of my boundaries. 

https://www.adn.com/business-economy/2024/03/18/upward-bullying-when-employees-think-they-can-run-the-show/#

To be continued… 

Part 2 - Bullying, discrimination and harassment - the initial complaint

I’m just going to keep ripping the band-aids off (there are many wounds), and keep going: 

7. In May of that first year in my new role, the manager directed me to rate one of my team member’s PRP as below expectations. I was being pressured to do something I disagreed with, but it was impossible to argue my point and communicate respectfully with the manager. For starter, I already listed the incident regarding this team member, earlier in the year, but for the manager, it seems she didn’t care if you’re dying. The obligation to the university came first (I heard this repeatedly in personal crises of my own and I refuse to put my family’s safety at risk because of this individual’s constant harassment. I had tolerated enough disrespect in my already tragic personal history).

8. Another PRP: the manager and I had agreed that a librarian on my team had exceeded expectations, working above her HEW level. She was a high performer, quiet achiever and would definitely be progressing to higher levels with her skills and qualifications (she likely already has, but I’m being severely abused and professionally harmed for displaying ethical and positive leadership. This has been the gratitude from “the university”, or rather, executive leaders - I don’t care if they’re not grateful that their staff live the mission and apply the code of conduct - they breached multiple laws and contracts. Where are the regulators SafeWork NSW and SIRA NSW?). As we had agreed, in my next meeting with this librarian, I informed her she would be getting this outcome and I told her the reasons after all our conversations and reflection. However, the manager suddenly went back on her agreement and told me this librarian shouldn’t get this outcome. It was relating to something unbelievably trivial and subjective, and I found myself with the PD for this role, justifying again why she should. The manager undermined my authority again and I found myself in a predicament of compromising my integrity with my team member. The manager’s complaint had something to do with the staff member not greeting her in the morning. She was a reserved but focused worker, and, knowing her, she was likely doing the work that “exceeded” her HEW level, and possibly did not notice the manager’s presence to greet her that particular morning. I used the PD to justify this, not someone’s subjective feelings. I won’t work this way again.

9. Each PRP is a confidential matter with each individual. How did the SL whose support I “didn’t want to lose” know about the PRP of the SLT? I believe there was discussion among the manager and SL, and I also knew, from my 18 years experience, the gossip that took place between these people. If the manager did indeed, breach confidentially, at best, undermining my authority again, I’d had enough of unethical behaviour that had never been managed by an Associate Director. The manager did the exact things she claimed she didn’t like others doing: micromanaging, gossiping, lacking empathy and emotional intelligence and bullying staff at their most vulnerable moments in their lives.

10. After bullying, discrimination and harassment, this manager informed me that my PRP report would not be submitted because I had allegedly not met expectations in my role as SLC. The manager had already decided I’m not management material, even though I had only been in the role for five months and burnt out trying to meet her vague expectations and serious micromanagement that was suffocating! I was offended. What exactly were the expectations according to her, because I completed my parts of the PRP based on each agreed outcome and I definitely did meet expectations, according to what was written. The manager never articulated what the alleged unmet expectations were. If not doing things her way, treating staff in the same unethical way or having to read her mind was what was meant, I never will meet these expectations and I stand my ground on this.

Throughout these five months, I had received little support, guidance and assistance, and this left me feeling demoralised, burnt out and unwell. The SLCs on others campuses were not going through this hell. 

11. That same month, I disclosed to the manager that I was exhausted and considered taking a period of “stress” leave. The manager replied saying words to the effect of “that would ruin your career”. After 18 years of working so hard for the benefit of many, especially this person! I considered that a threat. So I pushed on, even though it had now become a WHS issue.

12. On 30 May 2017, I commenced a month of annual leave, however, I spent my leave suffering from work-related stress and anxiety. I was losing my faith in humanity, so I went to a Tuscan village called Montalcino, in the hope of meeting people to resurrect that faith. It did. It was a beautiful community. But I was having nightmares while there, that left me lacking sleep. I found myself crying each and every day. The nightmares were like a premonition of things to come, both personally and professionally. The nightmares were nothing compared with the reality of what came when I returned home. 

13. Not long after my return, to what I now considered a toxic society, I took a period of sick leave. I had experienced a tragic death in my immediate family years before (my dad’s suicide), and I was suffering from suppressed grief and trauma which was compounded by the difficult workplace situation. As per the existing WHS and Wellbeing policy states, it was time I took care of myself and started grief and trauma counseling sessions. A month later, I returned to the workplace. I will unpack what happened in July 2017, that finally had me release so much suppressed grief and pain at this time. It’s something that affects families left behind after a suicide. It comes back to indifference and ignorance. Especially from religious communities. That is for another post. 

14. Not long after my return, the bullying, discrimination and harassment (the gossip and malicious rumours) started up again. The manager now accused me of sharing personal information with a good friend of mine and my family’s, who was an administrative officer in one of the schools on campus. We have been friends since 2002. Accusing me, in a matter of fact way, that I offloaded my own personal issues to this dear friend of mine, who was a colleague at the time, and going through a serious time with his health, I was in complete shock and all I could say to the manager was, “I can’t trust anyone.” It was a completely fabricated piece of disgusting gossip. That is exactly what I had to endure from the church community when my father took his life and I would never do that to anyone. The colleague and family friend was one of the few who supported me and my family at that tragic time in my life. The real story was that I saw him at the memorial mass of a lecturer and noticed he didn’t look well. I informed the staff campus minister to check on him because of this observation and feeling. I called him one time to see if he was OK. I felt so guilty to even check in on him after this accusation. The manager never told me where this garbage came from. She did at the meeting on July 1st 2019, that it came from the SL. I hope the reader of these particulars can identify the incidences of repeated behaviour.

15. A couple of months later, I assisted another SL in my team to submit three proposals for a symposium. Two of these proposals were accepted. I further advised and guided the SL to prepare a presentation and a workshop. Once a plan was outlined for the workshop, the SL was confident with what was needed to continue based on our client’s expertise and advice. But this wasn’t enough for the manager. She criticised me for failing to provide feedback on the SL’s final versions of her presentation and workshop. I was upset by this accusation as I was aware that other members of my team had provided feedback. I had encouraged this.

At this time, I was at another campus on a planning day, and I was only checking emails intermittently. As such, the manager’s criticism of me was unreasonable and unfair. No matter how much I did to support staff in my team, it was never enough for the manager. I knew each staff’s strengths and challenges. I provided input and support where needed to overcome anxiety or hurdles. I advised and guided the SL, through questions and suggestions, to prepare the PPT for a lightning talk and also a breakout workshop. Once we worked on a plan for the workshop, she was confident on what she needed to do and was flying (it’s online at https://members.caval.edu.au/member-committees/members-crig/crig-past- seminars/crig-seminar-2017 ). 

Apparently I didn’t give feedback on the final version (even though the entire deliverable got accepted and was successful based on my guidance and I was at a supervisor’s meeting at another campus when I “should” have given the final seal of approval). As others in the team did, I would think we could all do our bit to support each other’s goals as a team.

I will be honest. 2017 was not a good year for me on a personal level. Apart from other things like this unmanaged psychosocial hazard at work, as I mentioned, I finally started grieving the loss of my father to suicide. However, it’s expected of us in this society, to never show our vulnerability, brokenness or emotions, but to not take time off as needed to recover, and to suppress this instead. We must put on the happy brave face and quickly return to work because we have an obligation to the university, no matter what happens in our lives. Or perhaps that’s just this manager’s philosophy. How cruel and dangerous. As one of my colleagues said to me (who also experienced discrimination from this manager), “there are times we need to take time off for our wellbeing. But when I’m at work, I work and I am productive.” I agree. Bullying staff at emotionally traumatic, vulnerable times or times of illness, is wrong. It’s inhumane.

16. In December 2017, my friend and colleague, the school administrative officer, emailed me to inform me he was much better. I called him as he was in the office, to say I was happy and relieved. Working in an open office, the SL (the one who spread the malicious gossip I shared in #14) realised who I was speaking with, came over my head, to say loudly, “Be careful!” She gave me a fright (I’m not kidding), so I finished the call quickly and asked her, “Be careful of what?” She proceeded to tell me the health issue he experienced (seriously, is there no privacy for people’s health here?). I said, “Yes. And he emailed me to say he’s doing much better and I called to wish him and his family a happy Christmas.” How dare they talk like this at work behind my back! The biggest trigger for me are gossip and rumours that do damage and hurt innocent people. It happened to my family and I at the time of my father’s suicide and even eight years later we were correcting fake news, not because we owed anyone an explanation, but to show how wrong people were, so hopefully they would stop engaging in it. But some people refuse to learn and to stop. Some even make a career out of it (and I’m not talking about those who work for tabloid newspapers or gossip magazines. I’m talking about HR). 

To be continued…

There are five parts.

Bullying, discrimination and harassment - the initial complaint that landed an entire family in a corporate psychopath’s lair

The complaint was very serious. I had tried to resolve it locally with the associate director, the one up from this manager. It was this senior executive who fobbed me off to HR without consulting with me. I knew the organisational culture had deteriorated, so I knew I was doomed regarding non-compliance, poor governance and abuse of power. I was just too naive to realise how bad and diabolical it would become. 

Had this been managed ethically according to policies and procedures (and all I really wanted were reasonable and respectful boundaries, agreed to locally), I would not reach an exasperated state to find myself writing the initial complaint of bullying, discrimination and harassment, here. Had the NTEU, SafeWork NSW and SIRA NSW and other authorities, been transparent, properly trained, cared to listen, compliant to their own policies etc, and intervened to enforce compliance and stop the perpetrators when I reported it and pleaded for safety and help, I also wouldn’t reach an exasperated state to be writing here. I’m beyond exasperated. I’m scared, I’m alone, I’m still mobbed, ostracised, a victim of self-insurer fraud (massive financial abuse) and I can’t take this torture and constant stress I’m forced to live with anymore. 

You would think SafeWork NSW would urgently stop the psychological violence and get me a support network. You would think SIRA NSW would urgently order the self-insurer to process the claim form they never had, and start paying me what I was owed from the moment I made a claim. I’ll get to this later because there’s more to that story. Perhaps posting so everyone knows what I am still being put through will speed up the “process” with my wellbeing and initial entitlements as an urgent priority. 

No one is identified for privacy. I respect the laws, including privacy. But there were agencies that did not respect my privacy, or my family’s, starting with the workplace. It needs new, compliant, experienced and ethical leaders to take over. 

The organisation’s Work, Health, Safety and Wellbeing Policy states: 

“Staff are responsible for each other’s safety and wellbeing, including their own”.

I did not feel “safe” emotionally under the campus library manager anymore. It took a toll on my wellbeing and her attitude had placed the wellbeing of my immediate family at risk too. Then I was also expected to work in an open office, but never show stress or be upset with offensive comments made. I had to work under these conditions every day. This manager had a responsibility for my safety and wellbeing so that I could function and ensure the safety and wellbeing of my team. And I mean equally for all the team, not more support for one over another. I tried to work under these conditions and it doesn’t work. I had to finally remove myself for my own safety and wellbeing until the matter was resolved. 

It was never resolved. How dare I burn out and expect my family’s privacy to be respected as per laws and policies. I became a target. But what was shocking, my family were also targeted. 

1. The manager informed me that I did not want to lose the “support” of a certain Senior Librarian (SL) with whom I had now started to supervise in the new role. I didn’t understand what she meant by this comment. I was blamed for past issues regarding this individual, when I too was a Senior Librarian and not her supervisor. That manager was responsible for this librarian as her direct manager, at that time. I had supported this librarian beyond reasonable, even ending up with pneumonia in September 2016, when I pushed myself with evening information research workshops. No one offered to take my sessions (the work was already prepared) so I could stay home and get well. Let’s talk WHS regarding the pneumonia that developed, forced to push myself to give classes, a health hazard not only to me but the students I was training. When I finally stayed home, the manager called me at home when I was recovering from pneumonia because the SL made a decision to cancel a class, claiming she didn’t know anything about it. She knew as much as I did, so I said to the manager (between serious coughing and breathing difficulties) to tell her to contact the Lecturer-in-Charge and get more information and deliver the class, which was her job. My family were very upset with this lack of sensitivity and violation of personal boundaries. I was staying there for safety. I couldn’t breathe from severe coughing.

2. The Senior Library Technician (‘SLT’) asked about me to the manager, as I was looking tired. This was a literal question. While on the planning days in Melbourne, the manager called and alleged I had spoken with the SLT and disclosed personal information and issues. This call occurred on Bluetooth in the car from the moment I left home all the way to the staff car parking lot. All false allegations and the day had not even started, a good reason why I looked tired in addition to working excessive hours because we were short staffed at this time. I was tired because I was dealing with an energy vampire. 

3. The manager directed me to speak to an individual in my team about her request to take a period of sick leave from late February 2017 (yes I tolerated the serious unethical micromanagement and gaslighting since the start of 2017, and finally snapped on 2 July 2019). My team member had already informed the manager that she was on a waiting list for surgery and had further advised myself and the manager that her treating doctor had escalated this procedure which was now scheduled earlier. The manager directed me to find out what this procedure entailed and to inform the SLT that she was “letting the team down” by taking sick leave. 

I felt extremely uncomfortable. It was inappropriate. But it continued. The manager would also check how much personal leave one of my direct reports had taken. All of us have things that happen in our lives. That’s what leave entitlements are there for. It was a horrific intrusion. The manager made staff more distressed at emotionally vulnerable times. It happened to me too when my dad died by suicide. I wasn’t going to be coerced to do the same. It was completely unethical and inhumane. 

I attempted to reason with the manager, replying that my team member was taking this time off in accordance with the medical advice of her treating doctor. A medical certificate was provided in accordance with requirements. But the bullying, discrimination and harassment continued. 

The manager discussed personal information about personal finances regarding having the surgery earlier. The usual “obligation to the university” line was used repeatedly by the manager, in such inappropriate times. It was far worse than inappropriate. It was discrimination and harassment. And bullying! This is what I had to contend with and HR targeted me! Especially the national manager of employment relations and SAFETY. 

I felt uncomfortable by these comments and the directive to obtain private health information and breaching confidentiality and boundaries from staff who were my direct responsibility. This was one of the first unethical things I was being coerced to do as a “manager.” I won’t put any staff at risk and I do not take kindly to a formal letter from HR making allegations of any safety risk to staff by me. Extremely serious false statements, defamation and vexatious, malicious, slanderous rumours spread intentionally by HR senior executives and the actual danger to staff WHS and Wellbeing, the national manager of employment relations and SAFETY. It’s time this individual is held accountable by WHS and other laws. Her licence to practice law needs to be cancelled to remove her from such roles, to save lives. Let’s hope SafeWork NSW have finally paid attention to my repeated complaints and are reviewing the volume of evidence I provided. 

4. As semester one approached, I was pressured by the manager to micromanage my direct reports. She would also make inappropriate comments about my reports. I felt uncomfortable by these comments. Bullies don’t realise that such conduct is bullying. I can only imagine what was said about me. Gossip is malicious and hurts people. It’s passive aggressive abuse and should not be tolerated. I disagreed with the manager regarding the comments. I wasn’t going into the role being influenced by someone else’s judgement. I took on the role to establish a team where all felt a sense of purpose, value for their contribution, job satisfaction, supported and encouraged according to their role and personality. Making my team feel this way undermined my authority and made my job even more difficult. The manager would also say repeatedly, “You knew what you signed up for.” I used the approved Position Description, the formal document that outlined what I signed up for. I did not sign up for this unethical behaviour.

5. The manager would “criticise” everything certain staff did that I “should” be aware of. Micromanagement that’s serious harassment, suffocating staff, especially me. She was bullying / micromanaging me to bully / micromanage my team. No wonder all this resulted in a hypertension diagnosis by early 2019. We are talking about monitoring tea breaks, use of the amenities, sick leave etc. That’s micromanaging not only me, but expecting me to micromanage my team. Let’s not go into the Higher Education Award salary scale I was on (and the manager for that matter). Let’s not go into the kind of academic work we were meant to be doing (and still had to do while suffocating in this toxic environment of unmanaged psychosocial hazards). IT WAS UNETHICAL. 

6. In mid-2017, I undertook my first Performance Review Process (‘PRP’) with my team. The manager micromanaged me while I was trying to prepare these. I felt under so much pressure and stressed at this time to report things her way (according to her conclusions based on subjective labels and judgement). It was unfair to me because by now, I was completely burnt out trying to keep up with everything she vaguely expected of me and ace the PRP process in the first year. I didn’t manage this team for half that period, so I could only assess them based on the first few months of 2017.

To be continued…

It’s too much trauma to relive in one post. Unfortunately there’s much more. 

Organisational culture - Ethics compliance or sham?

I thought I’d make a start with at least one post, this week, of what became a surreal creepy psychological thriller on multiple levels. This trauma and shock has become a worse nightmare than the night I tragically lost my dad to suicide. 

When policies, procedures and stated values exist on paper but are repeatedly not followed in practice, the appearance of proper process can conceal something very different. This has been described in workplace-bullying research as “sham dealing”: managerial actions that “appear” to be genuine dealing but are not. That is how the organisation’s conduct was toward me when I had no choice but to request a safe work environment for my health and wellbeing.

Many relatable issues will come into play as I write my story. I start with a professional related topic of organisational culture. There is so much dialogue on LinkedIn about the toxicity of large organisations putting profit over people, and how the nature of work has evolved, and how governance in many organisations don’t actually govern ethically. You will come to understand more from my own experience. 

I think on LinkedIn, and even the fact that I had already created another work-related blog years ago, also linked to this account, it’s obvious which organisation was my first hand experience. But the problem is not with one organisation. It’s systemic and global. It’s many organisations and sectors becoming too corporatised, powerful, and, God help us all, narcissistic in their leadership.

In my case, it was never like that. Being in the higher education sector, in this organisation since August 2001, it was still a young university and truly had a leadership committed to the mission and values espoused. Many of us have been there long enough to experience the change for the worse. Government policies and a web of powerful strategic alliances played a huge role. When higher education became more corporatised, the mission and values, while there as a “brand”, were not a priority for leaders. Nor complying with policies, regulations and laws. Profit was. Not the people. Sound familiar? It became what’s called sham dealing.

I witnessed and experienced staff being overworked beyond what appeared reasonable, and concerns arose about treatment that I understood as contemptuous, deceptive, bullying, harassing and discriminatory. No matter how much a person tries to tolerate the toxicity, that is sadly coming from fellow human beings, a person reaches breaking point. 

So I begin my story. In mid-2019, after a poorly implemented restructure that left me under resourced, unsupported and exposed to bullying, discrimination, harassment and other unethical behaviour, I burnt out. I couldn’t sustain that unhealthy level of stress and violation any longer. Actually, I finally snapped at my manager (since 2001), that mid-winter morning, because it was years of having to tolerate a toxic environment, that harmed other staff, but finally took a toll on me. I had my own team to manage and protect, as per policies, if not humanity, while also having private and personal responsibilities that were just that: personal and private. One did not affect the other. My manager made it her personal business (with many staff) when it wasn’t her business. I walked into my workplace, after profusely crying all night, my eyes puffed and purple, looking as though someone had punched me (I was punched, but not physically). I finally said, “You’re my problem.” 

I remember her immediate response as: “This is bullying. I’m human too.” To me, this felt like a reversal of responsibility: my attempt to describe the harm I was experiencing was turned back against me. 

Since 2001, the work I accomplished that raised the profile and image of the library in our university community, the positive influence I demonstrated, the respect and dignity and integrity toward every person I encountered on this campus, nationally and beyond, in my professional capacity, including my loyalty and commitment to my work for this manager, amounted to this one sentence deflected onto me. 

And so begins the DARVO tactic. But when this is used by those appointed in roles of safety and compliance, that are anything but safe and compliant in their WHS core responsibilities, it’s a recipe for disaster for many staff, and ultimately, the integrity of the organisation. Somewhere along the way in executive leadership, integrity left the building. 

We need to bring back integrity. 

I’ll end with this note. There’s been no resignation, no deed of release, no NDA, nothing of this nature. Brilliant staff committed to the mission and values, especially to the dignity of the human person and common good, belong in this organisation. I experienced subsequent actions as attempts to silence me. I continued using my skills as an information manager to preserve records and document serious governance, workplace-safety and compliance failures by duty holders within the organisation.

Mud does not stick to integrity. Where bullying, discrimination, harassment or adverse action is substantiated, responsible duty holders must be held accountable. Organisations must take effective steps—including removing people from safety-sensitive responsibilities where necessary—to prevent further harm and protect lives.

When we are born

When we are born, we are all vulnerable and dependent on others to take care of us and give us what every human being needs. I’m sure each person can make a list and if we compare lists, it’ll have the same  items. Sadly many innocent lives don’t have those human basic needs provided, whether because of parental neglect, or tragic circumstances, or some form of serious conflict. I won’t go into the traumatic examples many people find themselves in, from the moment they are born. They are important stories for those individuals to share.

That was not my experience. I was born into a loving family. My parents migrated from Greece in the 1960s. Family values were an important component of Greek culture. My parents were loving, nurturing and supportive. They worked hard, not only in contributing to a great Australian society, but to raise their children, to provide, giving them the opportunities they didn’t have. They valued education. I never went without my school supplies, books, nourishing food, clean clothes and an abundance of love. My parents earned modest wages. They were good at budgeting. I had values instilled in me to be conscientious at school, to value learning, and to be kind and respectful to others. 

I was given the wisdom I still hold true in my heart today: no matter what I achieve, what titles or credentials or post-nominals I may acquire, what professional title and position of leadership, first I am a human being. Then the rest. In other words, first I treat every human person I meet, with dignity, respect and kindness. None of these human values require a qualification. 

I haven’t changed, but sadly, society and what it generally values, and how people treat each other, has changed. While there’s a lot of talk and campaigns and government policies and publications on respect, dignity and human rights, generally, the reality and truth that I observe, what I experienced and what I’ve also read and seen from the experiences of many others in society, it is the sad and extreme opposite. To use the cliche that actions speak louder than words, those trying to take action for a better and kinder society, a more respectful, safe and understanding society, they are constantly at risk of being silenced, or worse, even threatened in some way. 

I’m not saying we all have to agree, but a dialogue, a debate, a discussion requires respectfully disagreeing and stating why. Respectfully. I have witnessed and experienced too much immediate attack, blame, deflection, retaliation and silencing, including literally “blocking”. 

Sadly, I have observed conduct by some politicians that, in my view, can feel dismissive, defensive or silencing to the people seeking their assistance. This hinders democracy, but I also consider it an abuse of power, a lack of courage. Profit over people modeled by the very governance of a country or state. The tactic of DARVO is used more and more, the concept of toxic masculinity is growing, more and more men abusing and disrespecting women, and using cowardly tactics to silence them, or assert some kind of covert power over them. Some of these men don’t even realise they are doing this, causing serious harm to women, like they are a disposable commodity, a play thing, rather than someone who nurtures, cares and can bring forth life. They are the men that will say, “Not all men physically or sexually abuse women.” But abuse is more than what the law itself, defines as abuse. And even the criminal offences, we have seen it’s failed so many women. How many women still feel helpless, vulnerable, unsafe, also abused financially and psychologically? And the children they are also trying to protect and keep safe. 

I feel our government and its attempt at policies and funding to rectify this systemic issue, comes across as patronising, condescending and degrading women even more, rather than being empowering and respectful. Do these women have a voice in what they need, their dreams and goals for their lives? 

I have experienced political interactions that left me feeling unheard, dismissed and increasingly vulnerable. In my experience, refusing to listen respectfully to women who are seeking help can deepen existing harm and reinforce damaging power imbalances. It has caused me to reflect on how institutional responses can affect women psychologically, financially and emotionally, even when that harm is not always recognised or understood.

This is not how I was raised to treat people. I was also not raised to be treated like this by others, no matter who they are. 

We are all born vulnerable with the same needs. Everyone has the same right to dignity of the human person.